REPÚBLICA FILM REVIEW: X-MEN: THE LAST STAND
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By Led Black
X-Men: The Last Stand begins in the past with a wheelchair-less Professor X and a much more benign and gay-looking Magneto trying to convince a young Jean Gray to attend the Xavier Academy. Even at this early age, Jean Gray’s psychic power is indeed formidable, a fact that is underscored by her levitating all the cars just outside of her window. This power would come in quite handy in NYC with alternate-side-of-the-street parking and all, I’m just saying.
Fast-forward to the future where mutants are at least tolerated if not truly accepted. That all changes when a drug is developed that can turn mutants into non-mutants. Magneto correctly surmises that it won’t be long before the government decides to use the cure as a weapon against mutants. He takes it upon himself to amass a mutant army to prepare for the final apocalyptic battle with humanity.
Magneto kind of morphs into a mutant Osama, broadcasting threats to the establishment and taking a Bin Ladenesque thrill in destroying American landmarks. One of the biggest problems with this film is that except for a handful of the main characters there is scant character development. So many mutants so little time.
Cyclops, who was one of my favorite characters in the X-men comic book series, spends the few minutes that he is in this movie crying like a bitach. Jean Grey also returns as her long-repressed alter-ego, The Phoenix. The Phoenix is stronger, more vengeful and apparently hornier as well. In one scene she practically rapes Wolverine. Another thing I found hilarious was Arclight, a mutant played by Dominican Super Model Omayra Mota.
On the real, Omayra really looks like a mutant. She doesn’t need a costume or anything. I even overheard a little kid in the theater asking his mom if Arclight was a boy or a girl.
While not a bad movie, the Brett Ratner produced X-Men: The Last Stand is not the out of this world film I expected. I’d take either of the first 2 parts over this one. Also, I know that this being a super hero flick, I should suspend my imagination but there was one thing I could not overlook. In this movie, the President of the United States is an articulate, Shakespeare- quoting leader who just exudes gravitas. C’mon, you expect me to believe that ish, please.